question but no answe

last night i had a long talk with him.
i surprised myself and didnt break down.
i actually started getting mad..
i asked him everything that was confusing me and he could never give me answer..
i told him that i wish i could of been worth his time and effort..
no reply..
i asked him why he had to just drop me so sudden and from so high up..
no reply..
i asked why he didnt love me anymore..
he said he did..but thats hard to believe in a situation like this..
i asked him alot of questions and i didnt like alot of the answers..
i made him promise me to be good and not smoke and limit the drinking alot..
he did..but i feeel his promises are empty now..
i cant trust him right now. not even as a friend and he knows that. i really hope he is able to gain my trust back someday.
i told him i felt so alone all the time. that it was a struggle to get through each day.
he said he here for me. that he always would be. again..its hard for me to believe what he says right now. everytime he says something like that i automatically think "yea well you also told me you loved and wanted to be with me forever. that i was the one. i was the person you couldnt live without and never wanted to lose. that i was the one girl that was different than all the rest. i think of the fact that he told me he told me he loved me not just an hour before he broke up with me. i think of the fact that when he took me back that first time he promised he wouldnt make me do this again." all those promises seem empty..as much as it hurts me to think of that i cant help it. i wish he would do something to prove me wrong but this all just seems so easy for him. it seems easy for him to just treat the last two years of his life like it was just another phase or like its whatever. i didnt want to just be a chapter in his book, i wanted to be the other main character..the one who is there throughout the entire story. the person he grows old with and all that junk. im not sure about this but i feel like he just dumped me like i was any old girlfriend. not someone he loved for 2 years.(almost)
that hurts. cuz to me...
he was so much more than any old guy..
he was my first kiss.
my first love.
my first time.
my first date.
took me to my first dance.
gave me my first slow dance.
first boyfriend.
when i was with him..
i watched my first UFC fight.
got bit by a dog for the first time.
stayed out all night for the first time.
met the family for the first time.
went out with the family for the first time.
went to a public high school for the first time.
stayed up all night talking.
made up my own language and words.
stole his clothes.
wrote silly love notes/pictures
introduced him to my family'
took him to my family parties
planned our future
talked about anything and everything..
first make out session.
just so many memories come rushing in with every though of him.
i try and not do this but its really hard.
how do you just forget the best two years of your life?